u.u

I know how healthy people think. So do you. We all do. We were once normal people thinking those eating disordered people were crazy. I remember watching a documentary as a kid of a girl compulsively exercising and purging. I was shocked, I didn't see why she would do that, how she could've possibly see herself fat. I was never going to become like her I said and happily ate my cheeseburger. I grew up to become that girl. Eating that cheeseburger is now a sin, forbidden, it's the end of my day cause I'm officially 10 pounds heavier than before I ate that silly burger. My contact and I talked about adding nutritiondrinks to my plan and he brought one with him. It contained 400calories, even looking at it was scary, but do you know what he did? He opened it and chugged it down in one gulp. I was mostly disgusted, but also amazed. I could've never in my wildest dreams managed a spontaneous unnecassary extra 400calories. He's healthy though, he has no bad thoughts revolving food and body cause he will not gain 10pounds from those extra 400calories, but I will. In my mind I see those extra calories bubbling into fat under my skin. We might be blind to see reality, but our visions are microscopical when it comes to noticing a slight difference in our bodies.